What if..

By Susn Dybvik

I often wonder how my life would be had I been born under different circumstances.  Had I grown up in a different family, with different parents, in a different neighborhood.  Grown up with different values, and religion.  Been witness to other relationships, and other kinds of love.  Am I lucky or did I miss out? 

Its easy to blame the circumstances, the bad situations, the actions of others.  Which to some extend,  is what forms and shapes us into the many layers of complexity we are as humans.   Sometimes I wonder if my choices and my behavior would be different had I only had other experiences.  If I wasnt so damaged, if I didnt have truck loads of baggage.   The answer is probably yes.  However, there is no garantee that my choises would have been “better”…

I`ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. That the people you meet, come into your life when you need them, or when you are ready. They are there to guide you and sometimes you are there to guide them too.  Help them see their own way.  And as hurtful it is, some people are there to stay only for a little while.

I can ponder this however much I want. Thinking that some people would have stayed longer, had I only done differently and known better.  Had I only had a different background, or a different childhood, a smaller kind of baggage.  But in saying that, I am not only erasing the bad but I`m erasing the good too.  The people I`ve connected with,  the experiences I have gained.  The places I have seen and the road that I am on.  You see, If my start were different, my choices would be different, I would be different and we simply might never have met.

 

So I refuse to regret anything up to this point. As I know it will lead me where I need to be,  spiritually, mentally and physically. You just got to have faith that everything will work out the way its supposed to work out.  The hard job starts now, to look at yourself in the mirror and see your faults. And to be willing to change to be a better version of yourself.  You have to figure out your own values and what kind of person you want to be, and teach yourself these things if you have to.   I see too many people being stuck in their own evil circles, Me included.  But the only one who can help you break free is YOU.  Make sure to live a life according to your values, and you`ll be happy for the rest of your life.

 

xo

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